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THIS is the bad place.

@fire-is-her-water / fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com

Rose, they/them
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The last time we were on a long flight, my wife and I invented a game we call "Little Guy."

You start a game of Little Guy by saying, "I'm gonna hand you a little guy." The little guy is some kind of baby animal you are imagining. "Oh," she might say in response, "Okay," and hold out her hands for it. I will then mime handing her the animal. This provides some clues as to the little guy's size, weight, and general ungainliness.

She then gets to ask questions about what kind of little guy this is, BUT NO QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS ACTUAL APPEARANCE OR SPECIES ARE ALLOWED. Qualitative questions, or questions about his behavior, are the only ones permitted. She can ask "Is he soft?" or "Does he seem nervous about being held?" or "If I put him in the bathtub, does he seem okay with that?" or "Would he like a lil grape?" or "Is he the sort of little fellow who would wear a vest in a children's book?" but not "Does he have fur," "Is he a reptile," "Is he from Asia," etc. Some questions are in a grey area so you have to follow your heart, but the point is not to identify the animal as fast as possible: the point is to guess the animal purely based on vibes + how he would act if he were in your living room right now.

And I'm not limited to yes or no answers! If she asks, "Would it feel appropriate to see this little guy in a propeller hat?" I can reply, "Oh no, he has a gravity to him. A bowler hat would be a more appropriate hat." Or if she asks, "Does this little guy have protagonist energy?" I can say something like, "he probably wouldn't be the main character in a children's cartoon. He'd probably be the main character's ditzy best friend who's always eating sandwiches, or something."

We're big Twenty Questions to kill time in a waiting room people, but Little Guy is more about the journey than the destination. It's got a different kind of sauce that's nice if "killing time" and "lowering anxiety" need to happen hand in hand.

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ezribork

The best dog, the sweetest girl. Ezri borked her last bork today and passed peacefully at the age of 15, surrounded by family and friends, her belly full of chicken and her last days spent in nature and sun and love. Rest well. I love you.

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scientia-rex

When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”

He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)

I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.

What is your objective?

Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.

I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.

I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.

Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.

Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.

How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?

Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.

Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?

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What becomes of the broken-hearted? Thought I shidded but I just farded I've just gotta find Some kinda pizza mime

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THAT FIRST SITE IS EVERY WRITER’S DREAM DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I’VE TRIED WRITING SOMETHING AND THOUGHT GOD DAMN IS THERE A SPECIFIC WORD FOR WHAT I’M USING TWO SENTENCES TO DESCRIBE AND JUST GETTING A BUNCH OF SHIT GOOGLE RESULTS

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deanofbeans

OMG

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dduane

This one’s an always-reblog, because who knows who needs it and hasn’t seen it yet?

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Endearingly grumpy, gravelly-voiced, non-human loner with an aversion to touch, who's great at fighting and is an escaped slave who lost his memory due to the experimentation using a magical mineral, which was done to him by his former master, who also abused him in ways that aren't fully spelled out but are implied to be sexual as well as trying to break his will... Tries to reunite with a sister he didn't know he had, and who is used by his former master to lure him out. Ultimately defeats his former master but does not regain his memory (though gets a few flashes of it and learns the broad strokes enough to understand his own origins). Whomst am I describing?

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ezribork

I’ve started walking with my daughter to and from school instead of cycling, but it’s 1.2 km each way (about ¾ mile) and I do it 4x a day. Ezri is 14 now, and her stiff old bones mean she can’t go very far, or very fast. So she has a stroller now (it’s for a kid, but I added a pillow and some scarves to help ensure the front and sides are more secure for if we go over a bump - and she’s harnessed in anyway). She was a little unsure at first, but she’s ridden hundreds of times in a cargo bike, so once she realized it meant she got to go out and be with us, she had a good time. Ezri can ride to school with us and we can go fast enough to get there on time, and she rides most of the way back, till we get to a nice grassy bit and I let her out to have a leisurely sniff-and-pee at her own pace. 

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Just a bunch of useful websites

12ft – Hate paywalls? Try this site out.

My Fridge Food – No idea what to make? Tell this site what ingredients you have on hand and it will give you recipes to cook.

Project Gutenberg – Always ends up on these type of lists and for very good reason. All works that are copyright free in one place.

Ninite – New PC? Install all of your programs in one go with no bloat or unnecessary crap.

Unchecky – Tired of software trying to install additional unwanted programs? This will stop it completely by unchecking the necessary boxes when you install.

Sci-Hub – Research papers galore! Check here before shelling out money. And if it’s not here, try the next link in our list.

LibGen – Lots of free PDFs relate primarily to the sciences.

Zotero – A free and easy to use program to collect, organize, cite and share research.

Car Complaints – Buying a used car? Check out what other owners of the same model have to say about it first.

CamelCamelCamel – Check the historical prices of items on Amazon and set alerts for when prices drop.

Have I Been Pawned – Still the king when it comes to checking if your online accounts have been released in a data breach. Also able to sign up for email alerts if you’ve ever a victim of a breach.

Radio Garden – Think Google Earth but wherever you zoom, you get the radio station of that place.

Just The Recipe – Paste in the url and get just the recipe as a result. No life story or adverts.

Tineye – An Amazing reverse image search tool.

My 90s TV – Simulates 90’s TV using YouTube videos. Also has My80sTV, My70sTV, My60sTV and for the younger ones out there, My00sTV. Lose yourself in nostalgia.

Foto Forensics – Free image analysis tools.

Old Games Download – A repository of games from the 90’s and early 2000’s. Get your fix of nostalgia here.

Online OCR – Convert pictures of text into actual text and output it in the format you need.

Remove Background – An amazingly quick and accurate way to remove backgrounds from your pictures.

Twoseven – Allows you to sync videos from providers such as Netflix, Youtube, Disney+ etc and watch them with your friends. Ad free and also has the ability to do real time video and text chat.

Terms of Service, Didn’t Read – Get a quick summary of Terms of service plus a privacy rating.

Coolors – Struggling to get a good combination of colors? This site will generate color palettes for you.

This To That – Need to glue two things together? This’ll help.

Photopea – A free online alternative to Adobe Photoshop. Does everything in your browser.

BitWarden – Free open source password manager.

Atlas Obscura – Travelling to a new place? Find out the hidden treasures you should go to with Atlas Obscura.

ID Ransomware – Ever get ransomware on your computer? Use this to see if the virus infecting your pc has been cracked yet or not. Potentially saving you money. You can also sign up for email notifications if your particular problem hasn’t been cracked yet.

Way Back Machine – The Internet Archive is a non-profit library of millions of free books, movies, software, music, websites and loads more.

Rome2Rio – Directions from anywhere to anywhere by bus, train, plane, car and ferry.

Splitter – Seperate different audio tracks audio. Allowing you to split out music from the words for example.

myNoise – Gives you beautiful noises to match your mood. Increase your productivity, calm down and need help sleeping? All here for you.

DeepL – Best language translation tool on the web.

Forvo – Alternatively, if you need to hear a local speaking a word, this is the site for you.

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the hot priests of television and cinema: a very necessary thread - tumblr version (1/3)

Montgomery Clift in I Confess (1953), dir. Alfred Hitchcock

Father Michael Logan

ImageImage

Gael García Bernal in El Crimen del Padre Amaro (2002), dir. Carlos Carrera

Padre Amaro

Ewan McGregor in Angels and Demons (2009), dir. Ron Howard

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca

Dominic Cooper in Preacher (2016-2019)

Father Jesse Cusser

Jude Law in The Young Pope (2016)

Pope Pius XII

Ethan Hawke in First Reformed (2017), dir. Paul Schrader

Father Toller

Andrew Scott in Fleabag Season 2 (2019)

Hot Priest

Hamish Linklater in Midnight Mass (2021)

Father Paul Hill | Monsignor John Pruitt

Alfonso Herrera in The Exorcist (2016-2017)

Father Tomas Ortega

Daniel Brühl in Intruders (2011), dir. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo

Padre Antonio

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How is Ezri? How are you?

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Ezri’s good. She’s getting on in years so she’s having some difficulties with her hearing and sight, but I’ve always used a combination of hand gestures and verbal commands so there’s redundancy, and in the past couple years I’ve added different patterns of stomps on the floor/ground for a different sound and vibration she can feel through her feet. We spend 99% of our time together, and I carry her upstairs at bedtime so she can sleep on my bed, and down the stairs in the morning because she is but a little dog and cannot go down the stairs safely. I work from home, so she just lazily follows me from room to room and flops down at my feet whereever I am. In her old age she’s gotten kinda sassy, definitely understanding when I tell her to stop borking at a cat on the fence, but she’ll just turn around, look at me, and go back to borking. Or sometimes she’ll get into the trash and I’ll find her gnawing on a discarded slice of pizza obtained illicitly, and a mess near the kitchen. She’s earned it though, having spent years being ridiculously obedient and perfect, and it warms my heart to see her confident enough to disobey and have some mild, normal doggo shenanigans, secure in the knowledge that all that’ll happen to her is a gentle scolding and then a pat on the head. Even my dog knows I’m a pushover.

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